Discovering a new pregnancy when it has not been talked about or planned (or even when the pregnancy was intended) may bring up feelings of being shocked or overwhelmed. These are very common, immediate reactions, which can also be accompanied by feeling anxious and perhaps scared, frightened, confused and/or angry. Being pregnant when you did not intend to be can also trigger feelings of being 'out of control' and possibly feeling 'at the mercy' of your pregnancy's destiny (in a sense).
Women have described their feelings as:
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It has happened 'too soon' (even though they really wanted a baby at some stage), or |
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Shocked - 'We have actually done it', or |
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Anxious - 'There is no turning back now', or |
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Scared and questioning 'Is this really what I / we wanted?' or |
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Do we really want another child? |
How you feel about having a baby will depend on your individual circumstances. It may be that you are working on your career or studies, or perhaps you had planned not have any more children and this has now changed. If you are in a relationship, your pregnancy will have a direct impact on this, whether you have been with your partner for a long time, or if the relationship is relatively new. How you feel may ultimately be based on how your partner feels about the pregnancy as well.
Some women will have their baby on their own (whether by choice or circumstance). This in itself will involve an emotional adjustment as you plan how you will deal with the pregnancy and caring for your baby. You may need to negotiate a level of support or involvement from the father (or how much he is prepared to give). Or perhaps start considering your avenues of support from family and friends.