birthTIPS
The arrival of a new baby places a whole new perspective on the lives of couples. A third person (or fourth or more) coming into the dynamics of a one on one relationship, means that each parent not only has to consider the needs of each other (which usually changes dramatically after the birth) but now has to include the needs of their new son or daughter (or both!), which can at times be all consuming, pushing their own needs into the background!
The first 6 - 12 weeks after the birth of a baby can be a stressful time for both parents. Coping with a change in lifestyle (even if it is for the better), combined with constant tiredness, mood swings, a partner's return to work, mismatched expectations and differing approaches to parenting, can place incredible demands on even the most stable of relationships. If the relationship is not strong, deciding to have a baby in the hope of solving relationship problems usually only magnifies existing difficulties and introduces others. It is well recognised that having a baby can be one of the main factors involved in relationship breakdowns.
If you are reading this during the pregnancy, try to set aside some time before the birth to discuss with your partner the differences that you think a baby will make to both of your lives. You may need to consider possible changes that may need to be implemented to overcome any potential difficulties. Issues may include having less time with each other, changes in your roles, the move from 2 wages to one and the feelings of 'dependence' this can bring, the division of household chores and your personal expectations about how you each plan to parent.
Even if you have discussed these issues before the birth, the early weeks of parenting will still often involve negotiating the roles that each of you will play (and the contributions that you will make), when caring for the new baby.