The woman's relationship with her partner, other children and her extended family and friends can also suffer as a result of the postnatal depression. If the depression is not addressed, and eventually resolved, it may lead to relationship conflicts and increase the chances of separation from her partner.
As a couple, if you try to be honest and share your feelings at this difficult time, this can open channels of truthful communication, to help with the healing. It can sometimes be hard to hear how each other is feeling, especially if you are struggling with your own feelings, and possibly not coping with day to day life. Accepting, coping and working with postnatal depression as a partnership can help you both feel you are not alone. Relationships can become fragile and stretched at this time. However, they may also become stronger and deeper, especially if you both share and work together to deal with the depression.
There is some evidence that men may also suffer from depression more frequently after the birth of their baby, when compared to other times in their lives. For men, the actual birth often marks the beginning of their psychological adjustment to parenting, and a sudden realisation about the changes to their lives, whereas women often make these psychological adjustments during the pregnancy. The woman's moods and behaviours may be quite confronting and unexpected for the man. Differences in expectations about how each other cares for the baby, or contributes to the work required, can also cause conflict, resentment, sadness and frustration between couples. This is explored in more depth in relationship survival tips.
It can be very difficult to support, or even be with, someone who is very depressed. However, recovery back to 'normal' will take time, and patience is needed from the woman herself and those around her. Many partners feel 'forgotten', or left out, when the woman they love has postnatal depression. This is because once the illness is acknowledged, everyone tends to focus on helping the woman deal with her depression, rather than any needs the father may have. It may also be that the partner feels he needs to 'be strong', and put his own feelings aside, even if he is also feeling down. If you think you also need help, you should acknowledge this and seek some support and possibly counselling.