There will be many things to consider in the few days that follow the death of your baby. It could be that you are making decisions while still reeling from the shock of a sudden stillbirth, or you are considering things with the knowledge that your baby has died in the womb, or you have had some time to be with your baby before they died as a newborn. Whatever the situation, no decisions will be easy to make, when all you want is to have your baby alive again.
In the hours and days following their death, your caregiver should offer you opportunities to be involved with saying goodbye to your baby. You may need time to consider these options or you may make decisions on the spur of the moment. How you make your decisions will depend on you as an individual and the feelings you have at the time.
Be aware that no choice is the wrong choice, you just have to go with what you feel is right at the time. As time passes there will be some decisions you will be happy with, others you may regret. Changing your mind is normal and caregivers should try to accommodate this as much as possible. Respect the choices of your partner, even if they are not what you would choose. Each person needs to deal with their grief in different ways and needs to be respected for their choices.
In the past
Seeing and holding your baby
Bathing and dressing your baby
One woman's experience
In the past, generations of bereaved parents often had to cope with well meaning caregivers who took their babies away, without offering them the chance to see or hold their child or be involved with their burial or cremation arrangements. Often no funeral was held. The babies would be taken by funeral directors and possibly buried in unmarked graves or placed in coffins of unrelated adults, who were being buried at the time.