Sadness and loneliness
Once the sensations of shock and numbness dissipate there can often be emotional moves into an increasing awareness of reality that the baby has gone forever. It can be that parents will feel intensely sad and lonely at these times. All their dreams for their child start to become accepted that they will remain only dreams. Sadness and loneliness are two emotions that can be the most prevalent, coming and going regularly.
When family and friends return to their everyday life, the grieving parents can feel very much alone. Their grief is still very raw and they will often find it extremely difficult to be with young babies and pregnant women. It can be hard to re-establish social and working contacts, and to cope with the reactions of their family, friends and acquaintances.
Other people can feel awkward when relating to parents who are grieving. They can feel like they 'don't know what to say', but in saying this alone it can be helpful, just acknowledging your loss. Some people will avoid the subject of your child dying, or even avoid you, which can be painful.
It is not unusual for the woman to want to 'have it all back the way it was' before the baby's death. This can be expressed in a strong desire to conceive again straight away. While this is your decision, consider the emotional and physical impact this may have on yourself and your family. Realise too that having another baby will not replace the baby that died, nor take away the hurt you feel. You may wish to talk to a counsellor about making your decisions and preparing yourself for another pregnancy, if this is what you want to do.
Yearning and searching
There can be immense yearning to return to the safety and security of normalcy as well as a yearning to hold and nurture your baby. Aching arms, sore breasts and a heaviness in your heart can all be a part of this yearning, in combination with a strong desire for everything to be 'OK' again.