After the death of a baby one of the first decisions parents will be faced with is whether or not to have a funeral or memorial service and how they wish this to be conducted. These are decisions that you and your partner (if you have one) should make together.
Avoid having family or friends 'take over' the arrangements. Organising them yourself plays an important role in your grieving process and allows you to make the service unique to you and your baby. You may need time to make your arrangements, it is not unusual for parents to take up to a week and sometimes longer to organise what they would like, so take the time you need.
Memorial services before burial or cremation can be conducted almost anywhere. You may choose a church or chapel, the cemetery's crematorium, your home or a park or garden. (If you wish to hold the service in a public area you will need council permission). Some parents will ask to have the coffin brought to their home before the service. This can give other family members and friends a chance to say goodbye in private with you.
You will need to engage the services of a funeral director. It is important that you feel happy with whom you choose and the fees they will charge you. You should ask them to disclose all the costs that can be involved. The actual burial or cremation will be one cost but extras can include the coffin, newspaper notices, ceremony leaflets, cars, flowers, memorial plates or head stones. It is probably wise seek out a few quotes, as costs can vary greatly. If you are having difficulty paying for a funeral you may be able to negotiate part payments over a period of time or you may be eligible for government assistance (this is usually means tested). Ask your hospital social worker.
It is customary, but not essential to seek out a clergy member or funeral celebrant to conduct the service, but you, your partner, a family member or friend may feel more appropriate.