The expectation of a new baby often heralds a dramatic change in both partners' lives. Such a significant life event can be a stress in itself and whether viewed positively, or with trepidation, may raise many concerns for both parents in waiting.
Just as the physical changes during pregnancy are different for every woman, so are the emotional reactions to the pregnancy for both parents. Often women and their partners will experience different emotional reactions and concerns with each individual pregnancy.
Emotional reactions for women can manifest as mood swings, forgetfulness and excitement. Concerns about your own health and that of your baby, the process of labour and birth and impending parenting are all common. Partners will often take on the role of 'provider and protector' as the pregnancy progresses. Thier concerns may include worrying about balancing employment with parenting or financial strains, or how they will cope with being at the birth.
It is important during the pregnancy to recognise and share your concerns. Suppressing your true feelings could mean unresolved issues materialising at an inconvenient time (like when you are trying to push your baby out!). If you find that talking with family and friends, each other and/or the woman's caregiver is not enough, we suggest you seek professional counselling to help you work with your concerns.
If you are having continuous care from a caregiver who will be with you at the birth, it may be helpful to share your concerns with them. This can then help them assist you during the labour. One example for the woman may be if you have concerns about tearing. Fears and anxiety could manifest as a long pushing phase or being reluctant to push when the time arrives. If your caregiver is aware of this, it may enable them look at strategies to help you overcome your concerns.