Communication skills don't come naturally to everyone. Talking to your partner and sharing your feelings is an art in itself. Being able to change long-term communication patterns so you can start communicating effectively needs some effort and self-awareness.
To assist you to communicate effectively you may wish to try these strategies.
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When listening, validate what your partner is saying and don't dismiss it with "don't worry about that", or undermine it with "don't be silly". This is not helpful and does not recognise what they are feeling is very real for them. |
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Listen to each other and work out solutions. Try to avoid telling the other what they "should do". |
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Don't get angry if you feel what they are telling you is not what you want to hear. This will only make the other person shut down and stop sharing. |
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Try exercises such as writing down your concerns about issues on separate pieces of paper, then swapping them. This can be a less confronting way of dealing with issues and a way to start discussion. |
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If you are experiencing conflict, try to phrase things as "I feel this when you....", rather than "you always do or say the wrong thing". This puts the actions into the perspective of the impact it has on you, rather than blaming the other person. |
There are many universal emotional reactions and concerns during pregnancy, birth and parenting that are identified frequently. We realise that simply identifying them may not necessarily resolve them, but it may help to know that you are not the only one dealing with these issues.