Preparing for the newborn baby days
While bringing a new baby home might be a time of intense joy and happiness, many mums also feel fatigued and go through sleeping and crying issues with their newborn. Renee Mill, author of
No Sweat Parent Power, has some advice on how to deal with the effects of having a new baby in the house.
Move into mothering mode
To get used to life with a newborn and tune into your baby's sleeping and feeding patterns, Renee recommends going into mothering mode for the first six weeks. That involves accepting that baby comes first and everything else will be put on the backburner for a while. “A bit of planning, the right perspective and mindfulness will go a long way to making the first six weeks enjoyable,” she says. “Mothers need to stop rushing, and be in the moment. The focus should be on bonding, on interacting with the baby. Other plans can be made to work around them.”
Limit your housework
Renee says it’s of the utmost importance to plan ahead and limit any stress by reducing the amount of cooking and housework you do when your newborn arrives. "Cook in advance, buy takeaway if necessary, do anything to make life easier,” she says. “Friends and relatives will be ready to help – so always ask if you need a hand – but shopping, housework and coffee dates must be secondary for a while.”
Don’t panic about tiredness…
As it might not be as bad as you think. “A recent study showed many new mothers get up to seven hours sleep a night. The reason they’re so tired is that their sleep is disrupted,” says Renee. She adds that, by six weeks of age, babies should be sleeping for longer stretches at night, say from 10pm till 2.30am and then from 3am till 7am. “If mothers know they are getting six to seven hours of sleep and after six to eight weeks it will increase, that knowledge will make them feel less tired. Research shows that realistic or positive expectations can relieve feelings such as sadness or tiredness,” she explains.
Get support if you’re stressed
If your baby seems to be crying excessively, and you don’t why, it’s easy to see why you might end up feeling stressed. “This is where the true difficulties come, and nobody can prepare another mum for this,” says Renee. “Mothers need a lot of support - they need to be part of a mothers’ group, visit a clinic weekly, join Internet forums. Knowledge, support and friendship are the best things.” She adds that mums and their families should watch out for signs of postnatal depression, such as frequent excessive crying for more than a week, suicidal thoughts or hopelessness. Always seek professional help if you’re concerned.
Consider a breastfeeding time frame
While all new mums are encouraged to breastfeed, don’t struggle on alone if you’re having problems, but always seek help, and start by calling the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s free helpline on 1800 686 2686. If you’re feeling fatigued with night breastfeeds, Renee advises setting a time frame of six weeks to three months to give exclusive breastfeeding your best shot. “Can you devote yourself for six weeks to the total breastfeeding experience, which means taking things slowly and not running around all day?” says Renee. “Maybe after that, or three months if it’s not manageable, you may feel you’ve given your baby a good innings.”
Get into a routine
While a routine might not be possible in the first few days and weeks with your new baby, it should be the way ahead for a happy household as your infant gets older. “From three months, a baby should be in enough of a routine for you to go back to many of your activities,” says Renee. “Having some sort of routine is vital for planning and a mother's happiness, and has also been shown to reduce anxiety in babies and children.”
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This article was written by Joanna Bounds for Birth, Australia’s best pregnancy, labour and birth resource.