Being aware of your partner and / or support person's beliefs and their attitudes towards labour pain can open up an understanding to enable you to work together from a realistic base, towards the management of the labour. If the partner or support person's attitudes are very different to the woman's, then you may need to explore how this could affect the woman during her labour. Will the partner be able to freely support the woman and will the woman feel free to make the choices that she needs to make?
The attitude, competency and ultimately the performance of a woman's support team will often mean that most women walk a 'fine line' between feeling unconditionally supported and safe, to feeling influenced in how she should react to her labour pain.
Some women will voice concerns about "not knowing how their partner or support person will cope seeing (and hearing) her in pain."(This concern is invariably said when they are not within earshot!) However, these influences can cause the woman to modify the way she labours to make the people around her feel comfortable. Experiencing and managing labour pain is not about being emotionally and physically comfortable. It will often take the woman, her partner or support person out of their 'comfort zone' to a degree.
Another issue can involve the support person wanting the woman to achieve a 'natural birth' or wanting her to have an epidural, whatever the case may be. Here their own beliefs are put onto the woman, placing a condition upon them and basing the quality of their support for her on the acceptance of these.
Talk with your partner and / or support person about their attitudes and beliefs. Gain an understanding of what you may expect from each other. Emphasise the importance of being flexible in your plans and how the labour unfolds.
You could try using the following simple exercise to scale your individual expectations of pain during the different stages of the labour.