Emotions the partner / support person may experience during the woman's prelabour
How will I cope if the labour is long?
How will I feel seeing her in pain?
Not wanting to lose control of the labour, if medical intervention is needed
Hoping I know enough to support her through the labour
What if she can't contact me when it starts?
Stress about the unfinished renovation!
What if I don't want to be at the labour and birth?
Wondering if she will cope with the intensity of labour
Wondering if I will cope with the intensity of labour
Your expectations of how she labours and gives birth
What do I do if it can't be the way my partner wants it to be?
How will I cope if the labour is long?
Long labours are not something anyone wishes for. Sometimes couples count the 'prelabour' as the 'actual labour' but their caregiver will interpret it differently. This may turn your '3 day labour' into only 8 hours on the hospital paper work! Now you know why some grandmothers speak of being in labour for 'days'.
No one is able to tell you how long your partner's actual labour will be. The average time for first babies is around 12 to 14 hours but it may be as short as 5 hours or as long as 30 hours. This is why it is important to rest and sleep as best you can during the prelabour. Reserving your energy and strength for later when it is really needed. Some people find having an extra support person available a great help for both mother and partner. You may wish to read
do I need a support person in labour?
How will I feel seeing her in pain?
It can be quite hard and some times distressing for partners to see their wife/lover in pain. Consider how you will possibly feel seeing and hearing her in labour.
She will be working hard and using every ounce of her being to deal with this experience, she has no choice. She will not be in a position to comfort and support you; it will be all she can do to look after herself.