Most new mothers will experience a range of emotional 'highs' and 'lows', in the days and weeks following the birth of their baby. These will not only stem from the normal hormonal changes, but also the sheer physical, emotional and spiritual experience of giving birth, her feelings about being a mother (or mothering another child) and the level of love and support she has around her. Emotions will be very different, for each individual woman and if this is your second or subsequent baby, you may experience similar feelings to your previous birth/s, or they could be completely different.
Emotions can be fleeting, or ongoing. They can periodically surface and regress, through various phases during the postnatal recovery period. This 'roller coaster' of emotions may feel similar to what you experienced at times during your pregnancy. However, some women will find that they stay on a fairly even keel, possibly 'waiting' for emotions that do not seem to come. Your feelings may be intertwined with caring for your baby, feeding them and/or how your baby is behaving. You may feel confident with caring for, and feeding your baby, or confused and overwhelmed if you thought your mothering was going to be easier than it is. Perhaps the responsibility of caring for your new baby feels quite daunting.
Fathers can also experience emotional 'highs' and 'lows' after the birth. For some it is the sheer excitement of having witnessed their baby being born, possibly with feelings of euphoria and amazement, or perhaps extreme relief that your partner and the baby are both O.K. This can often be mixed with feeling physically exhausted, and possibly gradually having a realisation of actually being a 'father' and/or having a new sense of responsibility.
Both the woman and her partner, or support person, may reflect frequently on the labour and birth. Questions may come up about why it unfolded the way it did. Mothers who experienced (and fathers who may have witnessed), a labour and birth filled with interventions, or emergency procedures, can often feel numb or shocked, and may need some time to integrate what has happened. Some may feel angry, or upset, about how things were done (or not done). Others may feel that it doesn't really matter what happened, as long as both the mother and baby are fine. There may be feelings of acceptance, or possibly anger and/or disappointment.
You may find that talking with each other, or a friend can help, even though it won't change, or necessarily resolve, any issues. However, it may help to 'get it off your chest' - so to speak. Alternatively, talking to the caregiver (or hospital staff) can often help to clarify why certain decisions were made, or why the birth turned out the way it did. If the labour and birth are continually on your mind, or negative feelings don't seem to go away, it may be necessary to discuss the birth with a counsellor, or your childbirth educator (if you attended antenatal classes). This may be a way to debrief, and integrate the labour and birth.
The following is a general guide as to what you, and possibly your partner, may experience in first couple of weeks after the birth. Please be aware that the emotions listed below may not happen for everyone, or may not include all the emotions you experience. They may also be felt on different days, and in a different sequence.
On days 1 to 3 you may be feeling: